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Previously I was concerned about privacy, i.e. my blog posts showing up in unexpected places and being read by unintended guests.  I tried to address it by having everyone log in to view my blog but that proved to be a problem because RSS feeds no longer worked.  Recently I opened my blog to search engines and noticed a spike in traffic but I think that was mostly from Google.

I have searched for a solution for awhile and I finally found a good compromise, the User Permissions Plugin.  By using this plugin I can restrict certain posts to only be available to readers who are registered and logged in.  Also these restricted posts will not show up in RSS feeds.  I modified the plugin to redirect to this post instead of “/“.

The downside is that my regular readers will have to be logged in to read these restricted posts.

Regular readers please register if you have not already and always log in if you want to read all the posts, especially posts about my kids.

Tags: security,wordpress
Categories: Children, Web
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This is from Alfie Kohn: 10 Guidelines for Parents which is adapted from his book “Unconditional Parenting“.  I try to follow these guidelines but as one of my friends says, we end up reverting back to our default behavior.  I think the hardest things for me are assuming the best motivations and loving unconditionally.  Actually to be honest I really can’t do any of them.

10 Guidelines for Parents

1. Reconsider your requests. Sometimes when kids don’t do what we tell them, the problem isn’t with the kids but with what we’re telling them to do.
2. Put the relationship first. What matters more than any of the day-to-day details is the connection that we have – or don’t have – with our children over the long haul – whether they trust us and know that we trust them.
3. Imagine how things look from your child’s perspective. Parents who regularly switch to the child’s point of view are better informed, gentler, and likely to set an example of perspective-taking for their children (which is the cornerstone of moral development).
4. Be authentic. Your child needs a human being – flawed, caring, and vulnerable – more than he or she needs someone pretending to be a crisply competent Perfect Parent.
5. Talk less, ask more. Telling is better than yelling, and explaining is better than just telling, but sometimes eliciting (the child’s feelings, ideas, and preferences) is even better than explaining.
6. “Attribute to children the best possible motive consistent with the facts.” Nel Noddings reminds us that kids will live up to, or down to, our expectations, so it’s better to assume the best when we don’t know for sure why they did what they did.
7. Try to say “Yes”. Don’t function on autoparent and unnecessarily deny children the chance to do unusual things. People don’t get better at coping with frustration as a result of having been deliberately frustrated when they’re young.
8. Don’t be rigid. Predictability can be overdone; the apparent need for inflexible rules may vanish when we stop seeing a troubling behavior as an infraction that must be punished and start seeing it as a problem to be solved (together).
9. Give kids more say about their lives. Children learn to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions. Our default response should be to let them choose – unless there’s a compelling reason to deny them that opportunity.
10. Love them unconditionally. Kids should know that we care for them just because of who they are, not because of what they do. Punishments (like time-outs) and rewards (like praise) may communicate that they have to earn our love – which is exactly the opposite of what people need, psychologically speaking.

Categories: Children
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Yesterday was Dylan’s first Little League practice.  Unfortunately it was not as fun as Dylan and I hoped.

I think in general baseball is just not as fun as soccer, especially for little kids.  There’s just a lot of standing around.  If it wasn’t for the tradition of baseball in this country I might not have signed him up for it.

The first drill the boys did (there are no girls on this year’s team which surprised me a little bit) was learning how to throw.  Dylan is like me, he does not understand well instructions for how to do things physically.  For example the guys have been trying to teach me how to hit a golf ball but I am still horrible.  On the other hand I had a friend who would just watch a sport on TV and then go outside and do exactly what he saw.  The instructors were asking the boys to start in a throwing stance with the two arms out horizontally, the gloved arm out forward, the gloved hand pointing down, the throwing hand holding the ball up.  Dylan kept getting confused and at one point he was bending forward with both arms twisted, elbows on top, hands pointed up.  The whole thing amused me as I thought “That’s my boy.”

The second drill was learning to field grounders.  The coaches told the boys to act like alligators gobbling up grounders and stamped their throwing hands w/ an alligator stamp as added incentive.  Then they tossed the grounders to the boys.  At this point since there were only two coaches and nine boys the boys started getting bored as they waited for their grounders.  Three boys started making a little sand castle with the infield dirt.  Dylan started his own pile of dirt.  After practice I asked the coach if I could help w/ drills since it was obvious that another instructor could have helped in terms of keeping their interest.

The third drill was learning to run to first base.  This was the only drill Dylan actually enjoyed because running is fun.  The first time all the boys ran to first base and stopped.  The coach then told them they’re supposed to run past first base.  By the third time the boys wouldn’t stop running and ran into the outfield.  If the coaches hadn’t said anything I think they would have kept going.

For the parents, watching practice wasn’t too fun.  I amused myself by taking photos but I felt a little shy so I didn’t talk to anyone until one parent, a very nice mother, initiated conversation with me.  She actually had met Ji Seon earlier because they both had gone to the store to buy something for Little League and the other mother had taken the last one.

Two more practices, opening day, twenty games, two team parties, and closing ceremonies still to go.  Let’s hope it’s fun.

Tags: Dylan
Categories: Baseball, Dylan
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Ji Seon named Isaac her “snuggle bear” and Victoria her “snuggle bunny.”  Dylan suggested that he be called “snuggle hero.”

Tags: Dylan,Isaac,Ji Seon,Victoria
Categories: Children
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Isaac loves the movie Cars.  When Dylan was young we introduced him to various animated movies but after awhile we thought it would be best for him to watch more educational and less violent things like Wiggles, Peep and the Big Wide World, Thomas the Tank Engine, Bob the Builder, Teletubbies, etc.  Dylan still remembers Nemo, The Incredibles, Toy Story 1 and 2 and Monsters Inc. but he never asked to watch them.  Isaac never saw any of them.

Recently though at a book fair Dylan bought a Disney Pixar book that had stories from Ratotouille, Nemo, Cars, Toy Story and Monsters Inc.  I could tell that Isaac was becoming more and more interested in Cars so when I noticed a friend had the DVD I asked to borrow it.

Since then not a day goes by when Isaac says “I want to watch Cars.”  Some days Isaac will watch it three times.  It is a good movie because it’s about friendship and not violent.  The dialogue is easy for the boys to understand and the boys love the racing scenes and Dylan likes singing “Life is a Highway.”

Now when the boys start watching the movie Isaac yells out “Dylan let’s race!”  Then the two of them run laps around the house pretending they are cars on a race track.  Sometimes they even make pit stops to get new tires and gas.  It’s a good way for them to get exercise.

Now when we are driving Isaac likes to ask “Are we going fast or slow?”  Apparently no one told him that his dad always drives slow.

Today Ji Seon bought Isaac a Cars tricycle.  It was a little expensive but we knew he’d love it.  Plus he outgrew his Radio Flyer tricycle and Victoria needs something to ride.

Dylan accompanied Ji Seon to Toys R Us while Isaac and Victoria were napping.  Instead of asking for toys for himself Dylan was really excited about getting the tricycle for Isaac.

Tags: Dylan,Isaac,Victoria,youtube
Categories: Isaac
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